Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Take Your Own Chinese Driver's License Test!

So here is your chance to take your own China Driver's License Test!! I have cut and copied actual questions from the test. I'm sparing you any of the legal and registration questions. See what you think of these translations, etc.... I have added my own comments in blue.

1. When a wounded suffers bleeding in the forearm or shank, the rescuers may place a cushion in the armpit or in the rook of the arm, crook the armpit or rook and tie up.

(What the heck!?! Does anyone understand this question?!)
Answer: Right (aka True)

2. _______ refers to the material and article that has the danger of overall explosion.

A. Explosive
B. Inflammable solid material
C. Inflammable gas
D. Self-igniting article

(Hummm, maybe it just seems silly in English…)

Answer: A

3. When discovering a road congestion ahead, the correct way to deal with this situation is to _______.

A. Continue to weave through
B. Find space and overtake one vehicle after another
C. Honk to indicate the vehicle in front to speed up
D. Stop and wait in line

(Do they want what SHOULD be done, or what they ACTUALLY do. I’ll just leave it that I have never seen answer “D” done in China. However, the other three I see frequently, along with “E. Make your own lane”, “F. Drive on the other side of the street (or on the sidewalk or in the bushes or whatever)”, and “G. Do whatever you want (which is what you will do anyway)” I’m shocked that the people on the road actually ever took this test!)

Answer: D

4. After a vehicle falls into water, the wrong method for the driver to rescue himself is to ________.

A. Close the window to prevent water from flowing into the vehicle
B. Immediately use hand to open the door (use your hand guys, using your feet is a waste of time and then you have to take your shoes off)
C. Let the water to fill up the driver’s cab so that the water pressure both inside and outside is equal
D. Use a large plastic bag to cover the head and tight the neck closely
(Keep in mind you are finding the wrong answer, so that means three of these are supposed to be correct. Since “A” is the wrong answer, I’m not sure what exactly “D” is doing grouped among the correct answers. Is it like, “Hey, I’m gonna die anyway, so I might as well put a plastic bag over my head and speed up the process!” or what?!)

Answer: A

5. The sign in the picture means _______.

A. Stop to yield
B. Yield when crossing each other
C. No yielding
D. Reduce speed and yield

(Is it just me, or are three of the answers the same answer? Oh ya, this one is easy, but reading road signs all in Chinese is a bit of a challenge for me…)

Answer: D

6. The hand signal of the police in the picture is ______.

A. A signal for turning left
B. An auxiliary signal for turning left (does anyone know what an “auxiliary signal” is?)
C. A signal for stopping
D. A signal for turning left sharply

(Oh ya, that is SO CLEAR. How could I have NOT know what the heck that means!?)

Answer: D
How'd ya do? You have to get a 90% or above to pass -- did you pass? Now imagine 100 questions in 45 minutes... ya, it was a joke...


Laura said...

That is HILARIOUS Amy. You always have the best stories. So are you investing in a bike or a car?:)

Liz Wilcken said...

Ok, frustrating DMV story! But hey, at least you could pass the test (unlike me in the states, and had to take the test twice). No wonder anyone (except Sam) can drive there! Why in the world they won't let him take the test is crazy. I mean, do they think he'll make the road situation worse coming from the USA or something?!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

those translations are just lovely! i think i would've got thrown out for laughing and not been allowed to go back in and try again.

what are they expecting to happen to their drivers?! i don't think i had to learn what to do if my car happened to fall into a lake when i got my drivers license, nor what rescuers where allowed to do if i am bleeding profusely...

AmyCurtis said...

Yikes, Laura, do you think I really have a death wish?! No I will not be buying a bike! (So at the DMV they have these really disturbing videos of accidents playing all over -- REALLY disturbing, like you watch people literally get run over on their bikes or walking or whatever. Then they proceed to show the corpses and people crying about it and stuff. Really freaky!)

Meg said...

I am getting anxiety just reading these questions.

Kalie said...

amy, you're so awesome! what an adventure! i love your commentary!! (o:

Ben and Celeste said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying Amy, I'm crying! That is outrageously funny. You have so many perfect subjects to use in a stand-up comedy act...it'd bring in a little extra money for the baby!

Jonathan said...

That is awesome. Who did they hire to translate their test? Have you guys considered getting an international driver's license through AAA? It costs $25, though its paperwork is not as amusing as this test.

Tawny said...

You have GOT to be kidding me. I can't believe a human being actually wrote these questions, and that said human being actually expected other human beings to understand them and get them right. Maybe that's the whole point--less drivers in China! Well hopefully you'll be able to teach them a thing or two. Oh my, I can't tell you how hard I laughed through this. I'd rather take the NCLEX than this exam any day!